Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It’s like being on a roller coaster…

Monday was a day of depression. No sun and terribly windy outside, with a late snow fall which made my room feel cold and I didn’t want to put an electric blanket on the bed. The electric blanket had felt so heavy prior to surgery, now I worried about getting caught in my covers at night, and Ardmore not hearing my cry of distress when I needed to go to the bathroom. Yes, I felt totally helpless. I was still on pain pills and trying not to take them but would begin to get some pain and discouragement would set in and I would give in and take another pill. Perhaps it was a good day to feel sorry for myself; Ardmore noticed it and came to my rescue and began to coddle me. Something he and I just don’t do enough for each other I then learned.
We watched Dancing with the Stars and went to bed at 9:30. I woke up at 11:45 and tried to call Michelle. Her phone was busy, I did some exercises and tried to call her again and my darling granddaughter Leah answered. Her mom had gone to bed early and she was the one on the phone.

We talked about the last edition of Harry Potter and the death of her dear little dog, Winnie, a beagle, a couple of weeks ago. When he was out of the house sometime during the day (they live in the country) he must have been somewhere that someone didn’t like and poisoned him. She was overwhelmed with grief. He was her love. He waited for her to come home and would go to the cupboard for his treat the minute she came home. Then they would romp and chase, her teasing to take his food and he running and teasing her back, finally running under her mother’s bed. Her mother and Leah noticed he was lethargic, she had to force him to take water that evening, and he had not touched his dog food. Within hours he started to have convulsions and had bloody stools. By the time they got him to the vet he was died. Why would someone do such a terrible thing?

She had one bright spot the next day. She decided to rent a movie and watched Robin Williams in Where Dreams Come From and where Williams dies and the first thing that meets him on the other side is his dog.

We visited some more and finally hung up. I felt so much better until I went to plug in my cell phone at 2:30 am and it fell on the floor behind the bed. Tomorrow I would have Ardmore fish it up, I thought. When I took off my glasses and put them up, and they too, fell on the floor. I tried to get them with my reacher but couldn't, then I hit my water glass which splashed water across the floor. With all the commotion, Ardmore came down. By now I was back in bed half in tears and feeling helpless again. Remember this is now about 2:45 am. This compassionate husband of mine moved the platform he had made so I get into bed easier, and fished everything out from behind the bed, plus a few other odds and ends. Filled my water glass, then I proceeded to hit it accidentally again and the water went flying all over the floor. Still patient, he cleaned up the mess, kissed me and headed to bed. I slept like a baby after that.

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